Mind and Matters

I walked up straight to her , neither did I want Tarun nor Ruhana . I banged open the door and asked her "who gave you the right to decide whether I should be born or not ? , Why didn't you have the courage to bring me up , What are you trying to prove now by wanting to meet me ". She took her walking stick and sat down in her chair and said "Finally , we are alone and I can tell you what I have been wanting to ". I said "I am not here to listen to your story , yes , my hatred towards you is gone . Now after I have learnt the hard truth of my birth , I have no feelings left but want my questions answered". She said "fine Tara , if you can give me 10 minutes of your life today, I will tell you all that you wanted to know" and she began. "I always wanted you my child , more than my want a mother always wants the child's safety and thats what I did . When the doctor told me that I had a girl , I was the happiest as I knew you will...

Beyond your thoughts, deep in your eyes; Sour you high, above the skies; A world so lovely , big and wide; Innocent as you, with a heart so pure and white; Traverse my dear , reach the few;  where no one can chase you; Race not for the sake, smile a while; Take in the glory, dance a mile; Destiny awaits for you my love; Fear never, never look back ; Light will shine for you are forever mine. When she finished narrating this, the whole auditorium was in applause . Her eyes were constantly on us , Tarun and I . Tarun was basking in the glory of all parents asking if she was his daughter. I didn't take my eyes off the contact my angel was having and  she took the mike and said "Mama , I did what u said , Rock it baby "....

That night when I was left alone and my tears were dried up, all I was asking myself was what did I do wrong? All of four I yearned for an answer and every time I had the opportunity, I used to ask Hakim Baba one question "Baba, look at my face and tell me what is wrong" and he would just respond "think what is right , how beautiful you are , how blessed you are to have so many people around you "and give a broad smile. With a jolt I came back to where I was, Rose was sleeping and all night I sat right there and kept looking at her. After 15 years I had got this moment to be next to her, touch her and feel the same happiness .I got up as I heard the bell ring outside and she caught me tightly by her hand and said "Please don't leave me and go , I might lose my baby "and she fell unconscious . The doctor said everything was normal and called me aside to check if Rose was under any stress as this was all a result of some stress that she is underg...

Hakim Baba had told me the philosophy behind running the home and the school , it was in the lines of , a place where there is no restriction on what you want to learn and a home where you will always be wanted. I did work towards making this place what baba had envisioned without realizing that I would feel what this place means very soon. When I rushed back, Ruhana tried stopping me saying that "It will be more difficult the next time "and Tarun added "Remember , this is where I stay and you have no escape and I heard her telling " Let her go, someone is waiting much more than I am ". It was the time of rains and mists played Hide and seek with us all the time, my mind drifted towards one morning where Rose and I had wandered very far from our home and suddenly could not see each other while we knew we were still holding hands. It was both scary and funny , we thought it was a game that God was playing with us. The laughter after the mists cleared away ...

I accompanied Tarun and Ruhana to the house again. I had convinced myself that it was just this time , this one time I would meet her. All had only the best to say , my hatred was gone leaving me with no feeling for her, so there was no reason for me to get carried away. All Tarun told is he was a paying guest here and the other day , his family had visited him. He knew my mother as the Landlady and nothing more. I could see he was hiding a lot more this time, maybe I knew why. Ruhana on the other hand had never met her too but seemed to be knowing much more than what baba would have known. We reached her room , wait a second I said, "My room" I said softly. The door opened and nothing had changed , it was the same cold and dark room except it had a very soothing aroma . On one corner was the rug that I had always wanted to hide under as a child and the other corner had some clothes hung which were mine when I was four. I saw her walking towards me , not really , s...

So you did get time to look at me dear , she said in her usual mocking smile . I was still not sure if I should ask her about my mother but one close look at her , something inside me changed. There were numerous marks on her face and neck, maybe on her hands too , and none seemed natural . Unknowingly my hands went to one of the marks and she said “ Oh, you also got curious now , leave them, these are my beauty marks , marks that scarred just not my beauty but my soul” and she continued cooking. “Come back tomorrow and we shall start where Hakim had left “ , she was the only one who called Baba just Hakim . The whole evening I felt selfish of not wanting to understand her, she had suddenly grown old after Baba left us . After dinner I walked up to her room , the first time in 20 years , and what I saw there left me spellbound.  The whole room was filled with an art that spoke many things which only a rare few could understand and I could relate a lot of stories that Baba tol...

She was the only other one who knew everything about my mother or so I thought , Ruhana,  and that was the first time I really talked to her . Ruhana was always there from the time I remember but I rarely spoke to her apart from the times when I have appreciated her ways of making food for the children ( Personally I was not much of a fan) . It was a night when Hakim Baba had got the surprise cake for all of us , and it was a big deal for us as kids . Hakim Baba had some real ways to bring cheer on us  to make us forget that we don’t have anyone and so that day he was singing a special song . Along with the singing, we were all ready to cut the cake when the phone rang. All of us fell silent as a was a habit taught to us whenever phone rings, Baba spoke for a minute or two and never bothered to come back to the cake .Five minutes later , all hell broke loose ,All of us kids were ushered to go back to our rooms. We then saw Ruhana crying loudly , beating her chest and...

When I am upset , I work endlessly and after they took away Hakim Baba, I had no reason not to work. “ Is your inner voice not talking to you anymore” is what I heard from far or “ Have you decided not to hear that?” .It was him finally, how badly I wanted him next to me , I knew he was giving me time to heal but this way of staying away from me was unacceptable.” I am busy right now” I said grimly “ The new site in Valley has got approved and I would need time to spend on the design and the logistics”. “ Oh yes absolutely “ he said, “ all I am here to do is just sit and watch you , I would not speak a word “ he responded and that was the bait . I lost control, again, to find myself waking up in a totally different place. No, it was not a hospital , it was beautiful .It had the same flowery bed cover with a cushion pillow and the softest of rug over me which I dreamt of from the time I saw it as a child. When I realized what was happening, I got panicky as I saw no one around and...

You are a true asset to our school, here is your scholarship to continue your education at the most renowned institute , not many get this opportunity. “ Thank you Mam, I would not be able to accept this , I cannot leave home and go elsewhere to study “ , leaving her shocked I walked out of my Prinicipal’s cabin thinking what should I be doing next. When I reached, I could see that Hakim Baba had already received the news. Ruhana kept signaling me to come in from the back gate but seldom did I listen to anyone. I was all ready to answer him with my rationale when he said “ I am proud of you my child, when many only think of themselves , you are gifted with quality of thinking for others “ and murmured something like “ I see where that quality comes from “. I quickly reacted “ How on earth you never get angry , does that mean you also din’t want me to go from here but never told that?” He signalled me to sit down and have food while he had to sign off some papers as it was a p...

I knew her as "Laado"(meaning Favorite) while she was named Latha. She was born into a royal family with a heart even more royal  than any King and queen in this world. I was a primary school teacher then and was summoned by Latha's father for her education at the palace. One of my brightest student who excelled not only in her academics but in many things that a royal position demands. She was a born leader who led an army of 15 girls at that time to stand up against atrocities against Widows. Above everything, she was my inspiration . When everyone around would demand respect , she would by her ways earn respect. The youngest of all in the family, she took the biggest step  in sacrificing herself  by taking the decision of marrying your father , all this at the age of 17 for her family. She was allowed to take just one thing from her maiden house and she chose me "her teacher". She walked up to me and said "Hakim Baba , Have I done the right thing, ...